


The Dance

by Strangerthingsprobably



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Mileven, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-11-04 10:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10989147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strangerthingsprobably/pseuds/Strangerthingsprobably
Summary: Mike struggles with a decision he made regarding Eleven. He keeps lying to himself, claiming what he did was for her… but did he ever ask what she wanted?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Calum Scott’s cover of Dancing On My Own and I hate myself for writing it. Listen to it sometime to get the full effect.

Mike's stomach was in knots at the scene before him. Even in the dim light, she stood out in the crowd, her arms wrapped around _his_ neck.

He felt bile beginning to rise in his constricting throat. Hands twisted into fists, he glowered at the couple, eyes hidden under his mop of dark hair.

The final chorus of whatever slow song played echoed through the speakers, but the only thing Mike could hear was the ringing in his ears as he watched the couple before him sway in the middle of the dance floor.

He had avoided El all night, trying his damnedest not to steal glances at her. When their friends found her on the dance floor, Mike had conveniently found his way to the restroom. If a slow song was announced, he would walk off the dance floor, excusing himself for refreshments.

By ten, the dance was winding down and the gang had left for Dustin’s house already for post-dance pizza and video games. Of course, Mike was invited, but something held him back and anchored his feet to the gym floor. However, he wouldn’t admit that it was she who had the hold on him.

Mike had witnessed her arrival first hand. The recently cleaned corvette pulled into a front row parking spot outside the high school. She rose elegantly out of the passenger seat, gently taking her date’s hand to assist.

Mike and Will had been joking around with one another while they waited for Dustin, Lucas, and Max when Mike’s breath caught in his throat. She was heaven sent and chocolate colored curls. Her baby blue dress was simple, yet beautiful, just like her. It hugged her slim figure perfectly and stood out starkly against the poof and pompoms of everyone else. The minimal makeup she chose, because she didn’t need any, was accentuated only back dark eyeshadow and glitter.

“Mike, are you okay?” Will had asked, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Mike shrugged him off. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded sullenly.

Will, still the smallest of the group, looked up at the tall boy with concern. Mike was still the same skinny dungeon master he had been in their youth, but had the most significant growth spurt of all. It was strange to see the tall and lanky boy without the telekinetic girl at his side. Will could see the fire behind his friend’s coal-colored eyes when he looked at El’s date. He also noticed how Mike’s freckled jaw was set and Will knew better than to push the subject.

The Wheeler boy watched as El interacted with a gaggle of loud girls who ran up to greet her. They all complimented her like they were meeting her for the first time, as if they hadn’t teased her the day before in science class for answering a question no one else knew the answer to. El complimented them back, of course, knowing that it was polite, but Mike saw right through her facade as she dipped into the school. He thought he could sense she was miserable, but maybe that was his jealousy talking.

Back in the present, Mike pushed the thought of her away and took another sip of his punch. _Who cares who she’s with? As long as she’s happy that should be enough, shouldn’t it?_

Mike shook the thought from his head before his heart constricted even more. Guilt had been eating at him for months, gnawing away at his insides like a parasite before he finally spoke up. One evening, after a particularly fierce nightmare he couldn’t remember, he came to the conclusion that he was selfish. Selfish for taking away experiences that El should have come to on her own…

But at the same time, he desperately wished he could be the one holding onto her hips in this moment. Swaying in tune to the music with her. But he knew, deep down, that he was lying to himself when he claimed it was better this way.

_We can still be friends. We are all still friends. It’s just be a little different. Like we can’t hold each other’s hands during movies anymore, or share tokens at the arcade. But we can still have D &D campaigns and maybe sleepovers won’t be so awkwa—_


	2. Chapter 2

Mike froze, his face drained of color. In an instant, his blood had turned cold and he began to shake.

The scene unfolded in slow motion and seemed to last an eternity, but was actually over in the blink of an eye. El pulling slightly away from the tall boy for a moment and pausing before reaching up to grace his lips with hers. They stood there holding one another in perfect stillness locked in center of the dance floor, a single spotlight shone upon them.

Mike thought his heart had shattered months ago when he made the painful decision to separate. He figured the worst was over, but he was desperately mistaken. Hs breathing quickened and his vision became blurry from either the tears threatening to fall or his severe lack of oxygen. He crushed the cup of punch in his hand and stalked out of the gym.

The hallway outside the gym was bright and littered with students ready to leave the dance. He should’ve followed suit, Hell, he should’ve left with his friends, but instead he made his way to the bathroom.

Mike stood in front of the mirror for what seemed like years muttering obscenities to himself. Cursing his stupidity, cursing this dance, cursing the other guy she was with. Why couldn’t he just get over her? He was the one that made the choice!

He tried to rationalize with himself. Sometimes, he questioned his decision. But seeing what happened on the dance floor, he knew, why he did it. It was so she could have moments like this. It was selfish of him to keep her all to himself. She didn’t even know the possibilities that were out there. He couldn’t keep her tied down simply because of what they went through when they were kids.

_Let her be happy._

Mike wiped the remaining tears from the corners of his eyes and tried to catch his breath. The water now pouring from the faucet gave him something to focus on. Washing his hands and face always made him feel better. As he splashed the cold water on his cheeks and rubbed it into his eyes, he heard the restroom door open.

Without paying attention to the other boy, Mike dried his hands off with a paper towel and followed suit with his face. When he pulled the paper from his face he realized who the intruder was.

The blonde stranger finished his business and went to wash his hands in the sink right next to Mike, who froze in place. Luckily for Mike, the boy didn’t seem to recognize the mop of black hair that was normally seen with his date.

“Hey, man. You alright?” Blondie asked innocently.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” Mike stammered without moving an inch. “Just hot.”

The guy nodded and left.

Mike let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and gripped the sink tight.

“If it was meant to be, it will be,” Karen Wheeler had once told her heartbroken son after asking why he and El weren’t spending time alone together anymore. Her son had promptly burst into tears right at the kitchen table. She rubbed his back as he sobbed into her blouse and whispered these words into his ear before kissing his shaggy dark hair.

“Bullshit!” Mike screamed as the memory swam in his mind. His choked voice echoed back at him in the empty bathroom as if mocking him. In a fit of rage he stomped out of the bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Mike Wheeler stormed the halls with no particular destination in mind, but stopped dead in his tracks as he stumbled upon it, not even consciously realizing where he ended up.

El’s locker.

Mike punched the locker three times with a heavy fist. It made a tiny dent right in the center and he laid his forehead against the cool metal. When he gathered his composure and pulled his hand up to his face, it was shaking and already beginning to swell, but he didn’t care.

Defeated, Mike sighed, slumped down against the wall, and pulled his knees to his chest. His heavy breathing hitched and he felt a hard lump beginning to form in his throat. He pressed his palms hard into his eyes in an attempt to hold back tears, but the effort was futile. They flowed in salty streams down his hot cheeks regardless.

He knew he shouldn’t be hurting this much over the thought of El being with someone else. After all, it was his idea to break up.

_You were suffocating her, Mike. She needs to meet other people and not be stuck in 1984. What happened was best for everyone._

Mike couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment he decided he was selfish. The only hypothesis he had was that his nightmare had acted as a catalyst. For weeks, it was a back-and-forth battle between Mike’s self-loathing feeling of selfishness and guilt versus him wondering if he was just telling himself lies because he was scared. _But what was there to be scared of with El by his side? He loved—_

His stomach lurched again at the unfinished thought.

The thing that really pushed him to make his decision was the thought of their first kiss all the way back to that night in 1984. Though the supposed innocence of their first kiss made him smile, it also made his stomach churn because he realized El had only been out in the real world for six days and he stole that moment from her. Hell, when they met, he didn’t even know what a friend was.

He told himself he did the right thing. With shaking, sweaty hands he explained to her in the most painless possible way that it would be better for her. Through tear-brimmed eyes, she nodded, but remained silent.

In that moment, Mike began to panic.

_I didn’t ask her if she understood._

His fingers were suddenly gnarled in his hair.

_How could she know what she wanted if she didn’t know anything else?_

He began rocking back and forth.

_What if… what if she didn’t want anyone else? But she didn't know how to say it._

His breathing came in hitched, stifled sobs as he truly began to second guess his decision.

_Did I even ask her how she felt?_


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly, Mike Wheeler felt very, very sick. The nausea he felt earlier was nothing compared to the pathetic, dry retching he was feeling right now.

The doors to the gymnasium creaked open once again jarring Mike back to the present. There was a burst of loud music that was muffled again as the doors slammed shut. It was her.

El and her date walked with their backs toward Mike, El’s arm’s wrapped around the stranger’s bicep. She was giggling at something he said.

The knots in Mike’s stomach grew and he reflexively slammed his head back against the lockers. Anything to ease the pain or put out the fire blazing in his chest. Thankfully, the music was just loud enough that no one seemed to notice his self-harm. Mike choked down the creeping feeling of sick in his throat before glancing down the hall one more time.

He watched them go. He watched _her_ go.

For just a moment, her head turned back to him and their eyes locked. And in that moment, it was as if he were twelve again and they were in the cafeteria and all he wanted to do was kiss her. God, he wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her he was sorry.

Despite shrinking into himself, he kept his red eyes on her. The way she looked at him… through him. Her eyes bore holes into his heart that only she could patch up. Her brow was furrowed the same way it did whenever she saw him with a new cut or bruise from Troy. As if she were longing to comfort him. To kiss his freckles and tell him she understands, but she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand why Michael Wheeler, her first friend, her confidant, her protector, decided that them being apart would do more good than them being together.

Her soft lips parted slightly for a moment as if she were going to say something. Call out to him, maybe. Mike’s heart raced as he saw her expression change and sat up a little, almost poised to crawl toward her. When a single tear rolled down her cheek and glimmered in the light, he felt his stomach drop to his toes. Then, she looked glumly to the floor and continued out the high school’s double doors and into the night.

 

_Goodbye, Mike._

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

"We kissed," El said nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, eyes downcast to the floor. She felt... guilty... but couldn't really figure out why. Her friends, dumbfounded, sat in their respective seats in Mike Wheeler's basement. The boys in their D&D spots. Max and El squeezed in between them, next to one another.  


"No way!" Max exclaimed. The rest of the party stared at their shy friend with shock written all over their faces. Everyone's except for Mike.  


Across the table, Mike Wheeler sat, the threat of bile burning at the back of his throat. Will glanced at their leader seated next to him. He seemed paler than usual, Mike did. The shadowy bags under his eyes seemed to suddenly droop lower. His hands, normally restless, were balled into half-hearted fists. The way he refused to bring his gaze up off the center of the game table was especially off-putting.  


All the details Will had overlooked. He hadn't noticed his friend's deteriorating condition until now. Will knew Mike was upset about Eleven and the dance but he hadn't realized it was this bad. No one had, which is why when Mike excused himself to the bathroom no one thought anything of it. They simply clamored on about their own festivities of the night.  


In the bathroom, Mike let the cold water of the faucet rush over his hands for a moment before finally bringing it up to his face. Maybe when he opened his eyes again things would be back to normal. The nightmare would hopefully end.  


But in reality, he knew the truth. He knew what was going on out there and he wanted no part of it. I could just sit in here for the rest of the night. No one would even notice, Mike thought. But he knew it wasn’t true. Of course they would notice the master storyteller brushing off their accusations as to why he hadn’t gone to the “after-party” at the Sinclair’s. Truth be told, he didn’t even want to spin a story to give him an excuse. And he sure as Hell didn’t want to hear about what El did instead of attend as well.  


And so, after what felt like a socially unacceptable amount of time in the bathroom with not even a toilet flush, Mike returned to the game table. Right before he sat down, however, the party began gathering their things to leave.  
“Jonathan’s here to pick us up,” Will said to Mike while motioning to Eleven and Max. El avoiding Mike’s gaze at the mention of her.  


“I think Lucas and I are gonna head out too,” he said with a pat on his friend’s back.  


“Yeah, my mom wants me home a little earlier today since we all stayed up really late last night.” Lucas rolled his eyes.  
Mike simply nodded and said his goodbye’s to everyone as he walked them upstairs to the front door. Lucas and Dustin waved as they took off toward their houses.  


After El and Max left for the car, Will pulled Mike aside. “Mike,” Will spoke softly. He started saying more when Mike shook off Will’s arm.  


“I’m fine,” Mike said, not even trying to hide the sadness in his voice.  


“I know you’re not, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. But I’m here whenever you do, okay?” Will offered.  


The messy-haired boy stared stubbornly for a moment before sighing. He nodded his head in agreement. The youngest Byers boy always knew more than he let on, but he also knew better than to push too hard.  


Mike stood in the doorway long after the car’s taillights were out of sight. Later in the evening, long after crawling into bed, Mike Wheeler would toss and turn. The object of sleep mocked him as if he stood alone on a mountain top, he watched it recede like a sunset on the distant horizon.


End file.
